I call bullshit where I see it, and I’m not going to stop, despite the letters from a motivational speaker disguised as The Universe, despite Internet memes that spread like a plague of Airwick flowers, despite those who let go and let karma, and despite the conscious breathing I’m doing in the new year. Bullshit needs its callers.
|drawing by Kurt Vonnegut|
“You know, you come over and eat all my food and drink all my beer, and you never contribute anything.”
“That’s OK. Can I pour you a beer?”
Will your complaint and its consequences precipitate a change in your friend? Depending on the friend, probably—but at least possibly. And if it isn’t worth the effort to save the friendship (some relationships aren’t healthy for a host of reasons), at least send a mean person off with a performance review. Praying for a meanie doesn’t heal the meanie or your heart, and it doesn’t make you a better person. What does? The favor of telling him why it didn’t work out. After all, when you get fired from your job, don’t you want to know how to prevent the same fate with the next one?
Asking for what you want works with friendships, too. If your friend is an asshole, it might be simply that you didn’t ask him to stop being one, which is like asking him to continue being one.
Here’s a second message co-opted from the Book of Face.