Jetty Spaghetti

It’s probably normal for people to give their pets nicknames in ways they wouldn’t think to name their friends—unless they’re the guy making the copies. Marty’s and my first dog, Beowulf King o’ the Geats Miller, […]

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Baltimore: What I Like About You—and What I Don’t

What I like about you: You keep me warm at night. I’ve lived in my house, in the Beverly Hills area of Baltimore, for 26 years. I’ve raised a child, now 21, here. She attended […]

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I Thought I Was Fat

For as long as I can remember, my self-worth has been embroidered on a label sewn into the backs of my clothing. The higher the number, the lower my head. The scale tells the story […]

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The “Living” Room

I’ve been cleaning my living room for almost three hours—vacuuming, dusting, cleaning behind the furniture. The only thing left is the blinds, and I just can’t. I was hoping to, as I cleaned, get rid […]

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Irish Folk Songs (Part 1 of ?)

I’m here in Listowel, Ireland thinking about thanks and possessed of a sublime gratitude. Last night, my daughter and nephew sang in my sister’s living room, and Beth shared it on my Facebook wall. It […]

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  My daughter is a great person. I admire her for many reasons, her breathtaking beauty the least of them. She is kind. She is concerned. She is conscientious. She recycles. As a little girl, […]

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maybe someday you

“Suck Voice” illustration by Jennifer Sarah Blakeslee The worst part about mental illness is not simply having it. It’s not the waking up some mornings in such a state that you wonder if you can get out […]

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the cupcake exception

I haven’t seen myself naked in 13 years. I exaggerate. It’s only been about three years since I took a gander at my own naked reflection. When I emerge from the shower, I’m already tightly […]

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in the attic

I’m not a hoarder. I’m a saver. Hoarders take in all the cats. They hold onto all the magazines and newspapers and mail. Savers keep the things with sentimental value. Hoarders stack their piles in […]

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open letter to the lady who reserved twelve feet of beachfront property by placing two chairs ten feet apart

This open letter was rejected by McSweeney’s. Only the best rejections for me. Dear Lady Who Reserved Twelve Feet of Beachfront Property by Placing Two Chairs Ten Feet Apart,   Please forgive me today for breaking […]

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